community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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