This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize