i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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