Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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