When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
