What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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