Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
