i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
