I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My bed smells like the plague
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