So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
