I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
