i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
