I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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