Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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