Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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