I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize