There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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