So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
