While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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