i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
