Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
