i think i have herpe
just one?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
