I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
