so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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