im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
