Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
