U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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