you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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