I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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