I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
do nipples grow back?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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