Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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