we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My liver just broke up with me...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
