apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
