i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
