K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
