He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
