I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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