it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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