yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did i walk over a car last night?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
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Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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