Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
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I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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