I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
His nipple licking is glorious
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