There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize