The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
