I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
