So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
