I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
