what if every blade of grass was a penis?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
