if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
