I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
