she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
