So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize