would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
