i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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