I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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