My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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