she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman