Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just remember telling jokes while vomitting

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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(480): View more from Arizona

My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

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(647): View more from Ontario

I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

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(701): View more from North Dakota

You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.

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