My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
