Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

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  (207): Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people http://tfl.nu/csbk
  Replies (6) Good night (6574) Bad night (828)
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  (310): View more from California

  Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

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  (310): Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too? http://tfl.nu/j0i5
  Replies (57) Good night (1304) Bad night (3874)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.

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  (865): Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/z1qf
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (839)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

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  (218): i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette. http://tfl.nu/f90v
  Replies (77) Good night (4727) Bad night (950)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...

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  (407): Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup... http://tfl.nu/530r
  Replies (26) Good night (3521) Bad night (1031)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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  (770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv
  Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (4385)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Grandpa would have been proud

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  (815): Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out. (815): Grandpa would have been proud http://tfl.nu/nrjc
  Replies (13) Good night (5878) Bad night (1263)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (5050) Bad night (1893)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

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  (248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt
  Replies (9) Good night (1683) Bad night (4582)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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  (954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz
  Replies (10) Good night (1403) Bad night (3680)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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  (701): A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case. http://tfl.nu/jpiw
  Replies (13) Good night (4196) Bad night (884)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (698)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.

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  (832): I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic. http://tfl.nu/1uqk
  Replies (6) Good night (1529) Bad night (891)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.

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  (647): btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns. http://tfl.nu/3mk5
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (297)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms

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  (647): He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms http://tfl.nu/bn1m
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (283)

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