Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

The one in Montpelier?

(802): View more from Vermont

yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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(802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv

Replies (53) Good night (520) Bad night (2259)
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(915): View more from Texas

i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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(915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi

Replies (22) Good night (3564) Bad night (1617)
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(310): View more from California

Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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(310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp

Replies (21) Good night (6038) Bad night (1480)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.

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(973): All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/wlva

Replies (19) Good night (1183) Bad night (5640)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did he notice?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..

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(267): we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself. (215): did he notice? (267): of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up.. http://tfl.nu/7kng

Replies (83) Good night (1808) Bad night (10071)
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(404): View more from Georgia

It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.

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(404): It's a bathroom floor kind of morning. http://tfl.nu/13m7

Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (1051)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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(503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2

Replies (9) Good night (3308) Bad night (692)
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(727): View more from Florida

remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.

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(727): remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes. http://tfl.nu/1odp

Replies (0) Good night (1441) Bad night (887)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.

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(864): the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation. http://tfl.nu/dzey

Replies (5) Good night (2382) Bad night (645)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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(616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki

Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (636)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?

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(309): I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? http://tfl.nu/0fxz

Replies (7) Good night (464) Bad night (916)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking

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(919): my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q3af

Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (318)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

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(706): Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/bcib

Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (681)
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(936): View more from Texas

Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yup

(936): View more from Texas

I love us.

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(936): Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn? (832): Yup (936): I love us. http://tfl.nu/6mn5

Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (257)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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(412): its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game. http://tfl.nu/gy0r

Replies (8) Good night (626) Bad night (264)

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