I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
