i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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