would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
