just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
