I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
