It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
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Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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